Spare Change

Is anyone surprised anymore at the sheer stupidity of the Bush administration? I'm incredulous at the actions / inactions of Bush-Cheney-Rummy axis. Squandering away world goodwill, lack of plan for postwar Iraq, lack of plan for economy, lack of plan for the abuse pictures, lack of plan lack of plan lack of plan. They're like the bullies I knew from grade school - they don't have good answers for mistakes, making leaps of judgment by ignoring the issues, and repeating the same stupid mantra over and over again. We get it. Rid the world of terrorism. With you or against you. Americans. Rah rah.

"So, what happened at Abu Graihb?"
- Huh. We're Americans. What do you think war is? Let soldiers be soldiers civlian.
"So, where's the evidence between Al Quaeida and Saddam again?
- Huh. Evil terroooorists.
"So, we're in a mess now, soldiers are being killed, the Iraqis hate us as occupiers and oil is sky high..."
- Huh. We're making the world safer.
"But.. the world isn't safer cause not only are our enemies hating us more, but our allies don't really want to be associated with us...."
- Huh. We're making the world safer, daggumit. Are yooou with the terrorists? We're right. We're on the right track. Bringing democracy.. yeeeah.
"So..."
- I believe what I believe and what I believe... is that we're making the world safer from the eviiil terrorists. Eviiiil. Ok, this is over. I have to go play with my dog.

mornings suck when you're stuck waiting for the express 2/3 train and when it comes, there's no space to get on after some old lady pushes out of the way with her cane and then you have to wait for the next train to come, and when it does it's so crammed with people but you push on anyways and squeeze in... and for the next five minutes you're face is in some guy's pits, or if you turn around, you're smack dab next to a moldy jacket or someone's morning breath. and then you change to the N/R and get on the wrong train cause they switch the express/local lines. not to mention that it's raining and humid outside... so it's cold enough for a light jacket but definitely hot enough so you're uncomfortable in the said light jacket.

new job new place. faces and dreams, refigured examined dissected. life is too short too sweet, too melodious not to love. i wanted to live and not to dream, to act and not ponder. walk the talk and freely see. leaving banking (with all of its gory prestige and rewards) was a no-brainer, no looking back, no regrets. i was indecisive, yes... but for the years that i was in banking, i felt like i wasn't living in reality... that i was play acting a part, and that my future... those dreams of wealthy independence, of excess wealth and the love of things that money can give, they were all a part of me but not me. like i was living in a shadow world. and so leaving aside the guilt (brought on by a religous upbringing) and the raw ambition, i've making baby steps into my life. it's a reality infused by such optimism! that i can do anything! go anywhere because i've made this decision purely for myself. the kid inside. it's an ego a selfish a loving thing. cause whatever crumbles around me, whatever dies and fades away, at least this is my life. finally.